How to protect yourself from toxic people and maintain your inner peace

Have you ever had to deal with the toxic and manipulative behavior of certain people in your life? You also may have even wondered how to protect yourself from toxic people. 

Your health and peace of mind should be a priority, so it is crucial to know how to deal with this type of individual.

After all, we should be able to keep anyone threatening our inner peace at bay, right?

One thing is sure: any of us can exhibit toxic behaviors at some point in our lives when we haven’t yet done the work of raising awareness of our shadow and becoming a better version of ourselves.

On the other hand, there may be one or more people in your life whose behavior represents a great challenge for you. 

Ideally, we want to live in a world where we all get along. 

So when we come across a person who lacks awareness of their dark side (I don’t like the term “toxic”), we can feel confused and disappointed.

But, the situation becomes complicated when you have a relationship with this type of people from which it is not so easy to get out (parents, spouses, coworkers, etc.).

It is possible that when interacting with these people, you feel that your emotions are out of control, and may even doubt yourself.

What is the actual definition of a “toxic person”?

And most importantly, how to protect yourself from toxic people?

I like how the PsychCentral website explains what it means to be a toxic person:

Often the phrase “toxic person” is used to describe someone who is subtly or outwardly manipulative, self-centered, needy, or controlling.
These behaviors may manifest from underlying feelings of low self-esteem and mental health conditions such as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), childhood trauma, or other deeply rooted personal issues.
In addition, research suggests that some people who behave in toxic ways may have certain “dark core” personality traits. These traits manifest as a tendency to put their goals and interests above all others while justifying their behavior to avoid guilt or shame.

What’s a Toxic Person and How to Deal with Them – PsychCentral.com

What are the signs of a toxic person?

1. They lack empathy

They cannot put themselves in someone else’s shoes or empathize with their feelings.
If you are an empathetic and good-natured person, chances are they will see it as a sign of weakness on your part.

2. They are manipulative

Manipulative people are extremely calculating and measure their every move to generate a reaction.
You cannot let your guard down once you confirm that you are dealing with a manipulative person.
They will be charismatic and charming at first to get as much information as possible about you. Eventually, a manipulative and toxic person will find a way to use that information against you.

3. They exhibit passive-aggressive behavior

It is not uncommon for toxic people to engage in passive-aggressive behavior to express their negative feelings in subtle and sneaky ways.
For example, they often use hints whose ulterior motive is to make you feel bad or doubt yourself. Another common passive-aggressive tactic is silent treatment. When they behave this way, they aim to confuse, control, and even express resentment towards others.

4. They abuse their power

Toxic people love control. But most of all, they love situations where they can exert their power over others.
For example, there is nothing worse in the work environment than having a narcissistic or toxic boss.
In all likelihood, a toxic boss will abuse their power and find many ways to make your life miserable.

5. They invade your personal space

Have you ever been in a situation where someone blatantly tries to violate your boundaries? An effective way to recognize a toxic person is when they do not know how to respect the personal space of others. Again, they need to exert control and have little or no respect for the private space and boundaries of others.

6. They always play at being the victim

Do you know someone constantly blaming others for everything negative that happens to them? Toxic people love the role of victim or martyr.
They are unable to take responsibility for their actions.

7. They feel superior to everyone else

The superiority complex is a common trait of narcissistic and toxic people. If you have had a close relationship with these people, you know it is all about them very well.

8. They rejoice in making you feel bad

Due to their lack of empathy, a toxic person will have no qualms about hurting you without remorse.
The moment you do something that threatens their fragile ego, you will become a target for them. That is why you must learn how to protect yourself from toxic people.

How do you become immune to toxic people?

I can tell you from personal experience that the best way to protect yourself is to avoid all kinds of contact in the first place. But I also know very well that this is not always possible.

The next best thing you can do is set clear boundaries and put as much distance as possible between yourself and that person.

And when I speak of distance, I also mean emotional distance.

Do not get dragged into their mental games; above all, avoid being pulled into their mud. 

If there’s one thing a toxic person hates, it’s not getting the reaction they expect from you.

Sometimes it will be convenient to prepare in advance for any possible confrontation. Remember: stay calm and collected. Don’t give that person the power to make a mess with your emotions.

But also, something extremely recommended for maintaining your inner peace is doing a lot of self-care.

Try to have moments of reflection that give you the mental and emotional stability you need.

Take refuge in your loved ones and in people who appreciate you. Educate yourself on personality disorders and narcissism to deal with these people.

The time will come when you can distinguish toxic people a thousand leagues away.

But then you will be wiser and strong. Nothing these people can do or say to you will affect you like it used to.